A theme that keeps cropping up is this idea that adoptees, although I still don’t really like that title, are not really related to their adoptive families. It seems that underlying this argument is the assumption that family is defined by who is biologically related to each other. Obviously though, as I’m sure everyone acknowledges there are exceptions.
One of these exceptions is marriage. For the sake of brevity lets just consider my biological parents. Lets also assume they were married, which to my knowledge they were not, when they had me and are still married today. I, as well as society, fully acknowledges (not to mention celebrates) their marriage and considers them to be to the fullest extent family. But wait, they aren’t biologically related are they? Well, if they were I can tell you society surely wouldn’t be celebrating their marriage.
The marriage was validated not only by society, but by the law. Adoption, somewhat validated by society is also validated by the law. I am curious why some people do not consider to be related to their adoptive families on the grounds that they are not family because they are not biologically related whereas they validate their biological parents relation to each other via marriage?
I’m not trying to grill anyone or say they should think about family the way I do, but cannot help but be curious of experiences I have not had. Personally speaking I don’t mind if you consider your adoptive family family or not because that is your decision to make, but I am very curious about how you make the decision of who you consider family.
I know for me personally, it is hard to articulate rules or guidelines for who I consider family because that group of people is always in flux. New members are always being added, others are dying or leaving by other means. Its a very complex process.