I have decided that in my searching process I would like to have some support as I move along, thus I have begun looking for a suitable therapist/social worker/mental health professional to help me along the way. I had at one point wanted to wait until I had a significant other who I felt would be able to support me but waiting for that to happen is like waiting for George R.R. Martin to publish the next book in the Song of Ice and Fire series, hopeless. Thus, I have decided to have some “professional” support, plus I am fortunate enough to have health insurance that will help cover the costs (being thankful for how lucky I am).
It turns out there are not a ton of people who work in the adoption support world professionally but living in a big city you don’t really need that many people you just need a few. I found someone who I had a great phone conversation with and I am looking forward to our first meeting. Things I was looking for specifically: someone with experience working with adult adoptees, a person of color, someone with experience in transracial and/or international adoption, someone who took my insurance and someone who was not contracting or working professionally with any agencies actively involved supporting the placement of children into non-biological families. You may be wondering why the last one, well it is important to me that whoever I choose to work with understands and fully accepts my not-so-rosy view on the way most adoption agencies are run. I did not want to work with someone who may be making most of their money (or any really) off of prioritizing the placement of children in families without the critical evaluation of whether or not that process was the best of even necessary step taken to support said child.
I understand that no one is perfect but I did want to find someone whose motives felt more aligned with me own. I am hoping this first individual will be that person. For others out there who may be looking for similar support I found this particular specialist and others using https://www.psychologytoday.com/ and using their “Find a Therapist” tab. I was very surprised at how helpful it has been thus far. When I asked my primary care physician he, unsurprisingly, didn’t really have any idea what resources he should point me to but suggested I contact adoption agencies, which I was not very excited to do given my brief explanation above.
I keep moving forward, slowly, but forward, I think. Maybe 2016 will hold a more consistent schedule of work towards this endeavor, it is so easy to push aside but I will strive to do more.
Happy December 21st.
A Roots Search 
Hey Kumar, I’ve read your blog for a while and I wish you the best in therapy! I tried to find a therapist once using that same site, and it wasn’t helpful. All the therapists who dealt with adoption issues specialized in helping adopted people, especially teens and children, or adopters/potential adopters with infertility grief, etc. When I looked for child loss grief, there was no mention of adoption, only death/stillbirth/miscarriage. In other words, the socially accepted types of loss. I was so frustrated! I’m glad you spoke with someone promising. Good luck with moving forward and Happy New Year!
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Hey! First and foremost thank you so much for reading, I often wonder who out there is reading so its nice to hear from people once in a while. I am really sorry to hear that your attempts to find someone who can professionally be supportive have not been fruitful. Have you had any success since your initial search in finding someone who has been helpful? I have also had people recommend that I just find someone I am comfortable, regardless of their speciality because they can still be a very helpful and supportive resource.
Happy 2016!
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