Adoption


Characterizing ones own adoption feels like a fraught task, bound to be flawed, incomplete, perhaps similar to how adoption makes many feel, sadly. I hesitate to describe my experience because it and my feelings about adoption are somewhat fluid, malleable and ever evolving as this part of my identity continues to change.

A few things that feel unlikely to change much as things move forward:

  1. I was born in Southern India, Tamil Nadu.
  2. I spent roughly 11 months with my first/birth mother before relinquishment
  3. I then spent 11 months at an orphanage run by Children’s Home of the Congregation of the Sisters of the Cross of Chavanod (SOC SEAD) in Tiruchrippalli, Tamil Nadu.
  4. My adoption to an American family in rural southwest Ohio was finalized through an organization called Illien Adoptions International, LLC, which is now defunct.
  5. I actively began pursuing reunion in 2017. In January of 2018, I hired Against Child Trafficking (ACT) to use records from my “file” to search on my behalf in India.
  6. In May, 2018 they located a woman who appeared to be my biological/first mother. Upon meeting her and indicating she had a son, me, but she denied any connection or relation and refused further contact.
  7. In March, 2019 I returned to India with the goal of meeting her to see if that would change her mind, ultimately that trip was good, but her mind remains unchanged and so I have not met her nor has she acknowledged our relation.

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