Characterizing ones own adoption feels like a fraught task, bound to be flawed, incomplete, perhaps similar to how adoption makes many feel, sadly. I hesitate to describe my experience because it and my feelings about adoption are somewhat fluid, malleable and ever evolving as this part of my identity continues to change.
A few things that feel unlikely to change much as things move forward:
- I was born in Southern India, Tamil Nadu.
- I spent roughly 11 months with my first/birth mother before relinquishment
- I then spent 11 months at an orphanage run by Children’s Home of the Congregation of the Sisters of the Cross of Chavanod (SOC SEAD) in Tiruchrippalli, Tamil Nadu.
- My adoption to an American family in rural southwest Ohio was finalized through an organization called Illien Adoptions International, LLC, which is now defunct.
- I actively began pursuing reunion in 2017. In January of 2018, I hired Against Child Trafficking (ACT) to use records from my “file” to search on my behalf in India.
- In May, 2018 they located a woman who appeared to be my biological/first mother. Upon meeting her and indicating she had a son, me, but she denied any connection or relation and refused further contact.
- In March, 2019 I returned to India with the goal of meeting her to see if that would change her mind, ultimately that trip was good, but her mind remains unchanged and so I have not met her nor has she acknowledged our relation.
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