4 years

Its been 4 year since I started writing and within the last two months I have done more to help myself process than in the previous 27 years. I started out writing, reading and trying to expose myself to others’ stories. When I began I just needed to know I wasn’t along asn an adoptee. […]

“Calcutta is my Mother”

I sometimes stumble across stories of other Indian Transracial Adoptees who have gotten some press, usually because they are in some stage of searching. This most recent story is being made into the movie “Calcutta is my Mother” which from the short trailer: https://vimeo.com/168535931 seems less about the act of searching for birth/first family than an […]

I wonder…

I wonder if my parents ever think of me. I wonder if they love each other. I wonder if they ever loved each other. I wonder if my dad has patchy facial hair. I wonder if my mom’s eyelashes are dark and beautiful. I wonder if they are my parents. I wonder if they walk […]

Do You Remember Me?

One of the adoption agencies that worked with my parents to help them identify a child was called Illien Adoption International. I’ll admit I have not done a lot of research about the organization and thus have not really formulated an opinion about whether or not I feel they are helping or hurting the cause, […]

Step 1

I like to plan things, create routines, prioritize and then move forward. Given this proclivity I like to layout a plan for how things will go and determine the best and most efficient way to get from point Here to point Over There Somewhere. In this mindset it is always good to determine both the starting […]

My File Part V: Searching for Self

This piece was originally written in 2012 as a part of a short series I wrote about exploring my adoption file. I believe this was supposed to be the final piece in the four part series. I have edited it and thought it should be included. My File Part I: A Baby’s Biography My File […]

An Identity Liability

Looking at a mirror I often times, more so now than in the past am startled by my reflection. I almost don’t recognize myself. My face, it looks, well, different. I’m not the young undistinguishable American looking back at me. I’m…I’m Indian. I look Indian. I mean, well, I can tell, just by looking at […]

Stuckout

The first few days of the trip were rough. I remember feeling frustrated, angry for much of it. I had great expectations of what this trip would do for me. Growing up whenever I was bad at something or when I realized I wasn’t gong to be tall (which I took as a great disappointment) […]

No Typical Adoption

I started writing about adoption because I wanted to reflect on my own experiences. I wanted to explore them more thoroughly. I also wanted to hear what other people thought. I had a seemingly primal human inclination at heart. I wanted to know if there were other people “like” me, who had similar experiences. I’m […]