Dueling Narratives – India Itinerary 2022

There are two narratives that claim authorship over my origin story, or what remains of an origin story. The two narratives are not entirely mutually exclusive. The first one relies on written records and documentation provided by the orphanage where I stayed and issued by a South Indian court. The documentation has dates, official seals, […]

Searching 2022: Hopes and Wishes

Three years ago, almost to the day, I returned to India, landing in Delhi in the wee hours of the morning. I then hopped a direct flight to Chennai before taking an 8 hour train ride, in the blazing March sun of southern India, to Tiruchirappalli. Eight days after arriving in DelhiI I touched down […]

Everything is Real

I’ve had an incredibly busy week, numerous evening meetings, two new staff have started and they require a lot of my attention and I have a new boss. I’m preparing for a trip to Detroit to connect with a childhood friend and then an intense half week of work there. I’m tired, haven’t had enough […]

SOC SEAD Today and Yesterday

I barely slept our first night in the SRM Hotel, exhausted from the almost two days of travels, I crashed hard. I awoke disoriented and decidedly unrested at 11:30pm, I’d slept for maybe 3 hours and quickly realized I was back, I was in India. That first night in the hotel was a long and lonely […]

The Police

I’ve never been good at napping. On the rare occasion I am able to doze off in the middle of the day I normally awake irritated, disoriented and decidedly unrested. This trip proved to be no exception. After visiting Sarkapalyam in the morning, we returned to the hotel to escape the mid-afternoon sun. I lay […]

There Sits a House Part 2

The drive to her neighborhood is quick. It feels too quick; I’m unprepared. I thought I might have time, 15 minutes at least, to gather my thoughts. I realize, during our 3 minute ride, that I really haven’t thought much about what I would say if we do find this woman, and if she acknowledges […]

Never Given the Chance to Bloom

This trip was mired in uncertainty, defined by it perhaps. Nonetheless, Max and I developed somewhat of a morning routine which I came to appreciate. I miss it now that I am back in Chicago. The first night in SRM Hotel, our fancy hotel in Trichy, I crashed hard after dinner, my body beginning to […]

Is Reunion Healing? If so, for Who?

Preparing for reunion. Maybe. Maybe reunion, definitely preparing. Preparing for the vast uncertainty ahead. Practically speaking there are decisions to be made, tasks to be completed, lists to be made, notes to be taken, etc. The number of possible outcomes feels impossibly large. The number of likely outcomes feels disappointingly predetermined. I feel so uncertain […]

Air India Flight 126

They Say I Look Like Her

Resemblance is a strange concept. It overflows with subjectivity, devoid of neutrality or impartiality. Colored and formed in the image of past experiences. Reliant upon availability heuristics. They say I look like her. I don’t know how to understand that phrase. What does it mean to see yourself in others or them in yourself if […]