We Have Arrived

Being on a 15 hour flight is a little like hell. It is hard to believe it will end. Time ceases to cycle in the familiar ways. The sun still rises but it means less. Meals are brought out in what feels like arbitrary intervals and arbitrary purposes since I haven’t done anything to work … Continue reading We Have Arrived

Daughter of the Ganges

There are others who have gone ahead of me, scouting, getting lost, running into demons and in some cases fighting them off and in others retreating in search of paths easier to travel. We take different perspectives to life. Our stories are like two  rivers dancing, intertwined one moment and heading in opposite directions in … Continue reading Daughter of the Ganges

4 years

Its been 4 year since I started writing and within the last two months I have done more to help myself process than in the previous 27 years. I started out writing, reading and trying to expose myself to others' stories. When I began I just needed to know I wasn't along asn an adoptee. … Continue reading 4 years

“Calcutta is my Mother”

I sometimes stumble across stories of other Indian Transracial Adoptees who have gotten some press, usually because they are in some stage of searching. This most recent story is being made into the movie "Calcutta is my Mother" which from the short trailer: https://vimeo.com/168535931 seems less about the act of searching for birth/first family than an … Continue reading “Calcutta is my Mother”

I wonder…

I wonder if my parents ever think of me. I wonder if they love each other. I wonder if they ever loved each other. I wonder if my dad has patchy facial hair. I wonder if my mom's eyelashes are dark and beautiful. I wonder if they are my parents. I wonder if they walk … Continue reading I wonder…

Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry

I got a response from Illien Adoptions International. Its not good or bad news. They said that they had turned their records from when my adoption was processed (late 80s/early 90s) over to the Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry. Does anyone have experience with using registries like this? I'll be honest and say I didn't even … Continue reading Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry

Dear Anna Belle Illien

This is a letter to Anna Belle Illien who was one of the people, or at least her agency, Illien Adoption International Inc., responsible for my adoption about a quarter of a century ago. I have never reached out to Illien the person or the agency but it is one of the connections that I … Continue reading Dear Anna Belle Illien

Adoption Therapy: Here I Come!

I have decided that in my searching process I would like to have some support as I move along, thus I have begun looking for a suitable therapist/social worker/mental health professional to help me along the way. I had at one point wanted to wait until I had a significant other who I felt would … Continue reading Adoption Therapy: Here I Come!

What I Know or The “Facts”

It turns out I have kind of a lot of information about the process surrounding my adoption. There are lots of pieces of papers, many from the Indian Government or court system and many from the two adoption agencies that my parents utilized in their quest to find the perfect child, me! They utilized Illien Adoption … Continue reading What I Know or The “Facts”

If Dad Were Here

It'd be so much easier if you were here. You would remember names, places, stories and details I was too young to remember and mom was not present to experience. Your encouragement, practical insistence, on me returning to India before you died was the only reason I have ever been back to India in my … Continue reading If Dad Were Here