Resemblance is a strange concept. It overflows with subjectivity, devoid of neutrality or impartiality. Colored and formed in the image of past experiences. Reliant upon availability heuristics. They say I look like her. I don’t know how to understand that phrase. What does it mean to see yourself in others or them in yourself if […]Read More They Say I Look Like Her
Less than an hour after the brief Skype conversation with Arun and Anjali the advertised email with a handful of pictures pings into my meticulously curated inbox. I hate having unread messages in my inbox, it feels like dishes pilled on the counter, calling for attention, guilt by neglect. The normal nag of this red […]Read More Fragile.
Months ago, in therapy, I told Dr. R that I had some emotional fantasies about reunion allowing me to close a chapter in my life. Allowing me to move on to the rest of my life, clean and simple. In some ways not pursuing reunion feels like it is holding me back. Not being in […]Read More To Reunion or Not
About two weeks ago Dr. F notified me that Illien Adoptions International, Inc. had their accreditation officially cancelled, after having it suspended in 2014. SOC SEAD also had its Indian license revoked temporarily in 2014. Here is the official text from the Council on Accreditation (COA): Notice: Illien Adoptions International, Inc. “August 10, 2016 The […]Read More Notice: Illien Adoptions International, Inc. – Accreditation Cancelled
There are others who have gone ahead of me, scouting, getting lost, running into demons and in some cases fighting them off and in others retreating in search of paths easier to travel. We take different perspectives to life. Our stories are like two rivers dancing, intertwined one moment and heading in opposite directions in […]Read More Daughter of the Ganges
I wonder if my parents ever think of me. I wonder if they love each other. I wonder if they ever loved each other. I wonder if my dad has patchy facial hair. I wonder if my mom’s eyelashes are dark and beautiful. I wonder if they are my parents. I wonder if they walk […]Read More I wonder…
I like to plan things, create routines, prioritize and then move forward. Given this proclivity I like to layout a plan for how things will go and determine the best and most efficient way to get from point Here to point Over There Somewhere. In this mindset it is always good to determine both the starting […]Read More Step 1
I’m going to begin searching for more information related to my personal and familial history in India. Specifically, hoping to find information, traces, clues and people in India who either knew people I am biologically related to or that I share biology with. I just had to say this, you know, out loud to make […]Read More The Search
Lawrence, the faithful, charming and ever-so-kind driver, pulls our sleek silver SUV into the gates of the orphanage. “It looks like a church,” I thought to myself as I peered through the windshield. A statue of the Virgin Mary welcomed us from the middle of the entrance. I was surprised. I had totally forgotten that […]Read More The Orphanage Part I: Catholic?
Nine years ago my sister and I fulfilled a wish of our late father. 13 years after being adopted and moving to southwest Ohio I would return to India with my older sister. It was my father’s wish that I return to India while he was still alive. December 25th, 2004 we set out for India. […]Read More Searching and Reunion: The First Step is Backwards