We Have Arrived

Being on a 15 hour flight is a little like hell. It is hard to believe it will end. Time ceases to cycle in the familiar ways. The sun still rises but it means less. Meals are brought out in what feels like arbitrary intervals and arbitrary purposes since I haven’t done anything to work […]

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There Sits a House

There Sits a House, illuminated by a flash. Bathed in artificial light. The roof is metal, worn, in visible disrepair. This house sits on an uneven dirt road. Flowering shrubs sprawl across the front creating a beautiful barrier, separate from passers by but not private, just distant. A few exhausted lines run from the rafters […]

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They Say I Look Like Her

Resemblance is a strange concept. It overflows with subjectivity, devoid of neutrality or impartiality. Colored and formed in the image of past experiences. Reliant upon availability heuristics. They say I look like her. I don’t know how to understand that phrase. What does it mean to see yourself in others or them in yourself if […]

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Fragile.

Less than an hour after the brief Skype conversation with Arun and Anjali the advertised email with a handful of pictures pings into my meticulously curated inbox. I hate having unread messages in my inbox, it feels like dishes pilled on the counter, calling for attention, guilt by neglect. The normal nag of this red […]

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To Reunion or Not

Months ago, in therapy, I told Dr. R that I had some emotional fantasies about reunion allowing me to close a chapter in my life. Allowing me to move on to the rest of my life, clean and simple. In some ways not pursuing reunion feels like it is holding me back. Not being in […]

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Some Update

Monday, May 28, 2018 5:37am – Missed call from Arun Dohle I’m usually awake by 5:00am or just thereafter. I don’t normally get up, I’ll let my alarm go off a few times, tap snooze, and just lay there, eyes closed, often times dreading the day ahead. I always toggle the ringer on before laying […]

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Fantasies, Travel and More

I’m sitting on a train right now, headed south towards Delhi. My cousin is next to me and the train is pretty full. We’ve just spent about 8 days in the Himalayan foothills and are getting ready to fly out on the 6th and 7th. It’s been mostly a mixed trip for me. I haven’t […]

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Preparations

Today, I prepared for my impending trip to India by watching Black Mirror and unpacking wedding gifts that I purchased and were sent to me instead of the couples. I feel like the companies that do registries should have given me the option to have it sent to the couple and not me. Now I […]

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