Shit.

Search. Searching. What a strange looking word. What a strange process. What is the purpose? Why does it matter? What am I searching for? Is it a person? Is it a feeling? Is it certainty? Do I even want to find people? What would it be like to find someone? What if I don’t find […]

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Itinerary

I bought a ticket a few weeks ago. Its fucking scary. After trying to find someone to tag along with me and find the best time to go I just decided to purchase a ticket and say fuck work. Work is eating me alive right now so it feels like there is no good time […]

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Travel Visa

I have spent the better part of the summer trying to get all of my required documentation together to be able to apply for a tourist travel Visa to India in anticipation of returning to India in December of 2016. Back in 2011 or 2012 I began looking into applying for a Person of Indian […]

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Driven by Guilt

I’ve been planing on going to India this winter for at least a few months now. It has been a stressful process and I’ve done a pretty good job of procrastinating about the important things like determining what I’m going to be doing while there. The idea really solidified itself after a few weeks of […]

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Notice: Illien Adoptions International, Inc. – Accreditation Cancelled

About two weeks ago Dr. F notified me that Illien Adoptions International, Inc. had their accreditation officially cancelled, after having it suspended in 2014. SOC SEAD also had its Indian license revoked temporarily in 2014. Here is the official text from the Council on Accreditation (COA): Notice: Illien Adoptions International, Inc. “August 10, 2016 The […]

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Black Lives Matter

Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, Laquan McDonald, Tamir Rice, Amadou Diallo, Eric Gardner, Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, Freddie Gray, Jamar Clark, John Crawford III, Walter Scott…and the count stretches back and back and forward and forward. Find a system, politician or organization to pressure for reform. State sanctioned racism and state sanctioned killing are nothing new, but […]

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Daughter of the Ganges

There are others who have gone ahead of me, scouting, getting lost, running into demons and in some cases fighting them off and in others retreating in search of paths easier to travel. We take different perspectives to life. Our stories are like two  rivers dancing, intertwined one moment and heading in opposite directions in […]

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4 years

Its been 4 year since I started writing and within the last two months I have done more to help myself process than in the previous 27 years. I started out writing, reading and trying to expose myself to others’ stories. When I began I just needed to know I wasn’t along asn an adoptee. […]

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No Progress

No progress. I just haven’t done anything in a few months. I have been busy. There is always some excuse though so it doesn’t really matter what it is. I hope to get back on the Search during May. It is so easy to get distracted/suppress these feelings and just push things off. It isn’t […]

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